Almost
everyone can most likely say that at some point in their lives they have turned
to music as an aid. There is something about music that draws people to it in
hopes of some sort of escape or relaxation. When it comes to a topic like “music therapy”,
people may instantly assume this is a specific technique in curing mental
diseases. And while this is true, the amazing thing about music is that it is
accessible to everyone at any time without a specific "music therapy
session". This means that outside of an actual therapy session, people can
still receive the numerous benefits (ones I’ll be mentioning in my paper) music
has to offer. Since the main focus of my research paper is on the effects of
music on people, I find this picture to be very appropriate to include with the
paper. This picture mentions some of the exact effects that music can have on
people whether they are dealing with something as simple as a stressful day and
turning on their favorite station to relax, to as extreme as helping patients
with Autism develop social, speech and motor skills because of music.
What
is quite refreshing about this picture and slightly humorous is that it is
similar to a medicine ad one might see in a magazine or on TV. This relates to
my thesis because I intend on proving the point that music therapy should be considered
before medication because of its amazing results. Although it’s obvious that in
severe cases doctors will resort to and choose medication before therapy, or
the two simultaneously, the newest research and findings show the incredible
effects that music alone has. Although this is opinion, I do believe I share it
with others: that choosing a treatment that is a natural as possible (and not
including medicine) is an ideal choice. The common side effects given at the
bottom of the picture, including “uncontrolled toe-tapping, swaying side-to-side,
smiling, off-key singing, etc.” show the simple effects that music is able to
do. When it comes to some of the conditions I mention in my paper such as
depression, anxiety, autism and disabilities, music has a range of effects. For
depression and anxiety music can relieve some stress and provide a safe escape.
For autism and other disabilities, the use of music can actual improve skills
in real life such as remembering tasks in a certain order by creating a song to
sing along while doing certain tasks. These effects are incredible, and make it
clear that music has a much bigger purpose than merely entertainment. This
picture supports my thesis, stating that music therapy has potential in
treatment just as other therapies and medications do.
Julia, this is an interesting topic as music is popular in human pop culture. You definitely know where you will go with your research paper. I read this more like a description or outline of what you would be doing in your research paper. The descriptions and reasons in your post all make sense but I did not get a sense of how they would help your argument (other than the last few sentences). If your post expanded on the conditions that you state near the end of your post, your post could have been much stronger and more fluid.
ReplyDeleteAnother issue I found is that you use words that do not have meaning to them. Words such as "amazing" (line 4) and "incredible"(third to last line / line 25) do not hold any meaning to them. If using such words, it is best to expand on why the nouns associated with those adjectives are "amazing" or "incredible".
As far as the writing goes in your post, I felt that it was good but the sentences were choppy and lacking in flow. The use of your image provided a good insight to how you are going to argue your topic. Despite my nitpicking, I felt that your post is a good reflection on how you will approach your research paper.
Yes, Matt is all over it. I was thinking the same thing. You use some vague terms to describe the "effects" of music therapy. You also use the word "effects" quite a bit. I appreciate the outline format of this post. I actually think this is what I should have required all students to write. You do mention that this image has a "humorous" bent. You will need to find a delicate way of acknowledging this in your paper. This is a serious topic, but your image is a bit funny. Be sure to acknowledge the humor, without diminishing the seriousness of your research.
ReplyDelete