Unless you're a complete history nerd, I think it's safe to say the majority of students my age have as hard a time as I do, grasping a real understanding of democracy. However, in very simple terms I can come up with this: Democracy is a type of government that allows all of its people to equally participate in deciding what the country will do. Although this technically states that anyone can have a say in a decision our country is making, it is obvious that we aren't just going to let a large group of uneducated people determine the outcome. Electing those with the proper education helps ensure our country that we are in good hands. Evidently, a country run by educated people is what the majority--if not the entirety of it-- wants.
In the early years of our country's history, receiving an education, making one eligible enough to govern or to vote, was only available to rich, white men. Because it was the rich, white men receiving education, it was the rich, white men running the government. These men may have failed and succeeded in governing our country, but they did not demonstrate a great example of democracy. This "democracy" did not represent the entire country because the entire country is not made up of only rich, white men. In terms of an example many students can understand, like sports, if a coach decided that only players with blue eyes were allowed to practice, only those who had received the proper coaching would be skilled enough to play in a real game. The other players have the potential to become great athletes, but because they don't have blue eyes, no one will know if they make a good addition to the team. It's the same thing.
For obvious reasons in our past--slavery, lack of women's rights, etc-- it was not possible for everyone to receive an education. The difference between then and now, is public schooling. Public schooling is a free opportunity provided by our own government, for anyone to get the education they are granted. Public schooling sets up the next generation to be able to run the country. It is available because there is more equality than there was in the past. The diversity of the members of the government now, and those who make decisions by simply voting, is much greater due to the privilege of attending public schools. We are now governed by not only educated people, but with a variety of people, meeting more of the requirements of a democracy.The United States is proud to say that our country's future will be determined by our own people, and appreciative of the available opportunity to vote, which could potentially affect our country's future for the better, thanks to our country's democratic government.
Julia, your post is a bit different than your classmates'. Unlike many of your peers' responses, your response is logical, cohesive, and probably correct. The biggest thing working against you is style. You will never garner the audience that you want or need until you clean-up some of the very minor mistakes you make. The mistakes you make are not major. In fact, all of your sentences are grammatically correct. Stylistically, however, many are weak. Let me show you:
ReplyDeleteLook at your first sentence: "Unless you're a complete history nerd, I think it's safe to say the majority of students my age..." Grammatically, this sentence is probably correct. However, it does not demonstrate real command of language. You start with a second person narrative perspective (you're), then you move to the first person (I), and then you finish with the third person (majority of students). The narrative perspective, especially in a single sentence, must be consistent. You cannot begin by addressing "you" and then immediately transition to "I."
Next, you must try to avoid using the pronoun "it" unless you specify an antecedent. You make this mistake countless times in this post. Again, grammatically, your sentences are correct. However, this particular style implies to your reader that you are unsure of your topic. Instead of confidently stating something, you vaguely identify that something as "it." This will continue to detract from the quality of your writing until you make a conscious effort to fix it.