Education is the foundation of American democracy. Why
does our government support the idea to educate? Why do we need to be educated?
Because we are the future. We are taught to voice our own opinions, to have the
freedom of speech, and most importantly
to be ourselves. It is called individuality. Individuality is beneficial to
American democracy and our society as a whole. Our government values
individuality because it supports economic, political, and social progress. In order to progress we need to take each
individual and bring them together as one.
We can only progress as a nation by continuing to provide education for
the future generations of America .
I interpret democracy and education as a step-by-step
progression to benefiting our society. Public schools are opportunities for
higher education given in the United
States . (Schools allow children to develop human interaction to gain knowledge in various fields and subjects.) Becoming educated allows individuals to gain knowledge about who they are and
their political views in society. They
are taught to make wise decisions in life. As they grow up they will make
decisions that can impact the future by choosing wisely who our leaders will be
or even being a leader himself. The purpose of education is to prevent our
society from deteriorating. Therefore, educated individuals are needed to
improve our future. Education allows us to make progress as a society and country because the knowledge allows our people to be more innovative and become leaders. Generations and generations of the humankind are
being created to advance and sustain the democratic government with their
knowledge of the world. For that reason, education is essential to American
democracy.
Debates are important components of American democracy.
Last year in U.S History I, it was common to have debates. I remember having a
debate on whether or not President Andrew Jackson deserved to be on the twenty
dollar bill and whether or not Columbus
was the first to "discover" The New World. The debates reminded me of democracy.
Democracy involves freedom of speech. Moreover, debate also consists of freedom
of speech. The purpose of a debate is to voice your opinion and provide
evidence to support your opinion. Supporting your idea requires one to gather
all the puzzle pieces together to complete a puzzle.
Thanks Lisa. This post technically well-written, and I really like your final paragraph. You probably could have written an entire post on just the relationship between democracy and debating.
ReplyDeleteI do have some constructive criticism for you. If you take my advice, I am convinced, because of your technical skill, that you will write outstanding posts in the future. Please work on improving these three things:
First, there is no logical foundation of your post. I feel like it is a just a list of well-written sentences about democracy and education. Ideally, a response will have some unifying theme that you have interpreted that binds all of the sentences. The only theme in your response is democracy and education, and these were just part of the question. Your first paragraph deals with individuality and your last deals with debates. I think you would have been better off to write an entire post about one of these and offer specific examples to support one of these. This would give your post some cohesion. Most times, it is better to have one really well-developed idea than a bunch of quick ideas. See me if you have questions. I am not sure if I am explaining myself well.
Second, be sure to offer specific examples. Your first two paragraphs feel a bit flat to me. They are just explanations with no proof. Your final paragraph is better, because you offer some concrete proof to support your idea.
Third, despite being technically sound, your writing is a bit boring. The good news is that it is easy to fix - because you are such a technically proficient writer. Good writers avoid excessive use of conjugations of the verb "to be" - am, is, are, was, were. If you look at your post, almost every single sentence revolves around some form of the verb "to be." Without engaging, active verbs your writing will always come across as boring. Verbs make writing engaging - or not engaging. I challenge you in future posts to use action verbs instead of the verb "to be." I guarantee it will make your writing more enjoyable to read.