.png)
http://www.cddep.org/resistancemap/use/all#.UxQcVvldWrq
I understand that
it may be hard to read the small text in these pictures so the link above is
where the pictures are located. These pictures, while vastly different from the
pictures everyone else has used so far in the class, are just as, if not more,
important than theirs. This is a part of a larger distribution plot that showed
what the use rate of antibiotics for every 1000 people for each state, including
the national average, indicated in bold.
This distribution plot is screaming
one thing in particular at the reader. It tells the reader that the different
regions of the country prescribe use completely different amounts of medicine.
For example the South Eastern States such as Kentucky, Mississippi, and
Tennessee are among the highest users of antibiotics in the country. This
chart, if converted to a map, will mimic in a surprisingly close way, a map of
educational scores in math, English, and science, for the 50 states. This data
suggests that more education results in prescriptions of medications per 1000
people. And while there is no concrete evidence in the form of studies that can
show there is a difference in education on the topic of antibiotics and
medicine, it can be assumed that lower math, English and science scores suggest
a lower level of education in all areas of science, including medicine.
Resistance to medicine is caused by
three things: over-use, using for an incorrect amount of time, and a natural
build-up of resistance over time. While there is no way to slow down time and
thus slow down pathogen’s build-up of resistance to medicine, we can prevent
the other two ways. One way is by only prescribing antibiotics to those who
truly need them. Educating the people in these areas of the country could
greatly lower the national average of prescriptions and at the same time slow down
the speed at which pathogens are building up a resistance to our most powerful
medications. This is one area that the CDC isn’t addressing at all. They are
currently trying to educate doctors about the current predicament; however the
doctors can only do so much. Many times the huge pressure people put on their
doctors will cause them to prescribe antibiotics when they don’t truly want to.
It’s the kids that should be educated. While the current efforts to increase
the levels of education nationwide aren’t designed to address this particular
problem, programs such as the new nation-wide PARCC tests will inevitably educate
the young about the dangers of over-using antibiotics.
Having no prior knowledge on your research paper topic, I found this post to be a bit confusing. The third paragraph in particular left me slightly confused. Maybe this is because I wasn’t reading carefully enough, but I had to read it twice to figure out how it related to the previous paragraph. I think I know what point you’re trying to make (higher levels of prescription can cause medicinal resistance), but it could have been clearer.
ReplyDeleteThere weren’t any major errors in your post that stood out to me, but I did notice some minor proofreading errors, such as “It tells the reader that the different regions of the country prescribe use completely different amounts of medicine.” Nothing major, though.
Also, the sentence “These pictures, while vastly different from the pictures everyone else has used so far in the class, are just as, if not more, important than theirs” is unnecessary. You can’t really compare the importance of images, as everyone has a different topic.
I like your second paragraph where you talk about the possible relationship between education scores by state and number of prescriptions per state. I found this very interesting and I wish you had provided more evidence, such as the map of scores in Math, English, and Science that you referred to. Overall, I think this is a very interesting topic and will make for a great research paper!
Christian, having read your outline, I understood where you were going. However, I still struggle with this. I feel like you are making some pretty big leaps of logic, that, while potentially true, have no substantiation in this post. If you are going to draw a connection between education and medicine in your research paper, then you will need more evidence. I think you might have asked me about this. Did you? Now that I have a clearer sense of what you're trying to do, I think you might want to find another source to corroborate the evidence in these charts. The idea is very interesting - so interesting, that I think you need to elaborate further because your readers will be curious. Don't just assume that your reader is going to believe you.
ReplyDeleteMicaela is right about the confusing sentences.