Money is a controversial issue among kids and their
parents. Parents don't want their kids spending money on materialistic things such
as electronics and clothes. Kids often disagree about saving money because they
want items that make them happy. Once kids reach a certain age, they can obtain
a job to receive a weekly paycheck. At this age, kids are often told by their
parents to manage their money efficiently by depositing that money into a savings
account or storing it in a safe place. Some kids don't have this mentality of
saving and all they want to do is spend all of their money at once. The problem
with spending all of their money at one time is on what they spend it on. How
often will these new items be used and are these items really necessary? Kids
need to learn how to manage their money and why their management will pay off
in the long run.
Money management is
about the decision between spending and saving. Each time money is earned, a
different decision can be made. Should I put my money in my piggy bank or
should I go to the mall and buy some new shoes? Kids who do not think and rely
on impulse would choose the latter option ten times out of ten. The balance
between the two decisions is the key to good money management. If the balance
is kept, kids will be able to withdraw an amount to do something necessary such
as paying for a book for a class and not worry over asking their parents for a
few bucks to spare. A plan created between a child and their parents is a great
way in managing money. This plan lets more people think about the money and how
it should be spent. With this also comes more things to look forward to as
parents could pitch an idea of a new toy or a special event once the sufficient
amount of money is saved up. Parents should not only suggest good results, they
should hint at and follow through with certain consequences if a kid does not
adhere to the formed plan. An example of a consequence is the taking away of
privileges. If a kid lies or steals for money, actions such as grounding and no
electronics are consequences that could prevent bad habits in the future.
Money is not infinite and must be earned. Yes, saving money
might not produce any results immediately. However, kids have to realize that
saving money will help their future. Their future should be ensured before
living in the present.
Matt, I agree that money management is important. You make a good point that people should find a balance between buying and saving. I like how you picked a relevant topic, as many people our age are getting their first jobs and receiving their first paychecks.
ReplyDeleteI was a little bit confused with the logic of your essay, however. I wasn’t sure if your thesis was the importance of saving money or how parents should teach their children about money management. I think your argument would have been stronger if you had only focused on one topic.
There were a few errors that I noticed when reading your essay. “A plan created between a child and their parents is a great way in managing money” should be “...to manage money.” There were a few other mistakes concerning grammar. For example, in the last sentence of the second paragraph, “electronics” is a noun, not an action. Also, some of your sentences confused me, such as, “With this also comes more things to look forward to…”
Despite these errors, your topic was interesting and relevant.
Matt, as a general rule, readers like specific examples. Writers who just write what they think, and do not link their opinions to any tangible examples, creative analogies, or empirical evidence usually come across as just ranting. I would not define this post as a "rant," but I do think it lacks any specific, creative punch. Essentially, you're asking your reader to just take your word for it. When you craft your argument response on the AP exam, or when you make any argument in the future, be sure to try to find something that will make your argument stick out.
ReplyDeleteOverall the writing of this post is pretty good. Micaela pointed out a couple sentences that you could improve. Here is another one: "The problem with spending all of their money at one time is on what they spend it on." Technically this sentence is correct. Unfortunately, the string of prepositional phrases makes it difficult to comprehend.